17th Sun of the 6th Astral Moon

I don’t remember La Noscea being this humid. It was always sort of… blustery. All those high bluffs, with no tree cover to break up the rolling winds. The salty sea air always brought out the wandering spirit in me. Perhaps that’s why I couldn’t stay in Limsa very long this time. That and, of course, the lack of available work.

The longer I go without a job, the more I can feel the allure of the sword at my hip. I keep getting it out while I wander and swinging it around, practicing the forms. It’s been so long since I fought without a shield though; and I feel somewhat naked. I feel like I need something else in my other hand. Another weapon, maybe? Maybe I could invest in a larger sword, but that would reduce some of my flexibility and speed. Not that I really want to fight anything these days. I keep reiterating that to people these days, but I can’t help but wonder if it’s more to convince myself than to convince them.

There’s been a lot of that though, reiterating. I’ve had lots of meetings with people that I wasn’t plan on. I only really spoke with Keisuna once back before the Calamity, but she asked for me over the pearl. Me specifically. I felt odd, and it was so out of the blue that it managed to pique my curiosity. She surprised me with her verbal sparring. I got the sense for a while that we were both dancing around some kind of deeper subject, trying to one-up each other in a delightful game of one-upmanship. I didn’t feel like either of us had an edge though, and I rather enjoyed myself. If she’s well, I’ll probably see if she’s down for more sometime. With less pretense. Of course, there’s always the chance I pulled the subject out of my arse, but there were too many coincidences lining up for me to ignore. Her son on the other hand, seems a little squeamish. Bookish. Reminds me of myself when I was younger before I was married. We’ve agreed to tea this week but I have a nagging suspicion that it’s going to fall through.

R’zhumii hasn’t been much better either. Another “innocent meeting” with a motive behind it. She seems to think that I’m still holding a torch for Eufrasi. While I’d admit in the privacy of these pages that I’m dying for a good shag, I don’t think that trying to rekindle any sort of romance with him is a good idea. Apparently he’s got some baggage, and if he comes with R’zhumii in tow then I would rather stay celibate. Bitch had the audacity to give me gil, but hidden inside a larger bag. I didn’t realize what had happened until she’d gone.

I do miss the comfort of a man in my bed. Turk has disappeared off again, without a word to anyone, and Fenix seems to be completely disinterested. I’m terrible at dropping hints, but even the ones that lack subtlety he seems to miss. I gave him a bloody kiss the other day and he barely batted an eyelash. I need to meet someone, I think. Something casual, I wouldn’t even turn down. But release is important and the last time I had that was with a woman. And who knows where Blueboats is now.

*there is a break in the writing. A small gap, and it continues. It is obviously written at a later time*

Apparently I wasn’t living in the Shroud this whole time after all. I took the other way around to Wineport this time, since I was called away the other day and had to make the trip back. I stumbled into a place that the map called ‘Raincatcher Gulley’. It is the forest. THE forest. That’s where I was the entire time after Cartenau. I had no idea. Apparently I’ve been assuming this whole time that I was still in the Shroud because no forest like this was around then, but here it is. I was in it. I recognize the plant life, and the climes were right, and some of the rock features were right. It’s not a coincidence, and I should have realized much sooner that no place in the Shroud would have that kind of humidity and support that kind of plant life. Wineport is so close, I think I’ll go back some sun. Try and find my old camp. Dig up what I buried.

I think Aysun is coming out for a visit. I’m going to go down to the front desk and buy a bottle of wine. Nasty stuff, but there’s hell-all else to drink around here.

12th Sun of the 6th Astral Moon

The dumb bastards didn’t want me. I keep trying to convince myself that it’s their loss, but rejection still stings, just like it always have and like it always will. That’s a part of life, I suppose. I’m just not used to being on the receiving end. I wonder if this is how all those men felt. Only worse, I suppose. Heartache hurts more than being turned down for a job. I think.

It’s different out here. I couldn’t take being cramped up inside that hot, smelly city any longer. I’m beneath something that one of the Brass Blades called the Sultantree. I don’t remember the desert being so green. I mostly remember brown. And rock. Fenix’s house is near the Gate of Thal, so I just made a beeline for it.

Desert air smells nice.

I feel free suddenly. There’s nothing keeping me here in Ul’Dah anymore. I can go out on my own now and defend myself. Staying with Fenix has been convenient, but I feel that I’ve already started to wear out my welcome. I’ve barely even seen him since I got here, but I still feel like an intruder. Too much freedom in there, almost as if I’d broken in.

I don’t feel very alone anymore. The first few days were excruciating, but for the past several suns I’ve been surprisingly busy. I’ve tried to get out a little every day, and I’ve seen people. Eva stayed for a few bells when she came to remove the cast yesterday, and we talked. And we had a conversation that was long overdue.

When I first arrived at the Watch, I spent a lot of time in awe of Eva. She was this untouchable entity. Quiet and understanding. She always seemed to have all the right words. Even when we were both Archontes, and supposedly on the same level, she was over me. Up until the very end, when it seemed like we were starting to reach some kind of understanding. It was only around then that I started to really consider her a friend. I’m glad to know that hasn’t gone anywhere.

I feel like I have to force myself to act naturally, even though I’m terrified. I’m still reeling from culture shock. Everywhere I turned something is different and people have changed, so I remind myself that I need to hold myself together. It’s hard. But when I talked with Eva it all came back like nothing had changed.

It felt good to open up to someone. Aysun hasn’t been the most receptive what little I’ve seen her, and that worries me, but Eva is a lot like her usual self. She’s more forward, though, and it hasn’t gone unnoticed. The older Eva never asked me questions. We would both sort of dance around subjects. I’m sure we both knew what the other was saying, but it’s much faster this way. I like it.

I want things with Aysun to get back to the way that they were. I worry about her. I remember when the two of us used to talk like the way Eva and I did. It makes me wonder if some day I’ll ever tell Eva about my time before the Watch. Things I’ve only ever told Aysun.

I didn’t have the courage to ask her about Jzhoshief or Aatrix, though. I know she’s talked with them, she said as much. It was a rude awakening, to be certain. Maybe next time.

The plan is still to go to Limsa tomorrow. Pack up my one possession and leave a note for Fenix. I’m taking this sword though. I’ll pay him back. I’ve been frugal with the gil Eva lent me, and I think it’s enough to get a ride to Limsa. I’m not coming back. Not for a long time.

I think Tysien’s men are still out there, though. I need to be careful, and leave quietly.

8th Sun of the 6th Astral Moon

It’s been several days now, and I still haven’t left the city gates. I keep tapping my boots against the floor, growing impatient. I feel trapped, both by these walls and by this cast, although I suppose that here above the forge is the safest place I could possibly be right now.

According to Aysun, Tysien’s brainwashed buffoons are still out there. The cavalcade of bad news seems to rival the good news. I wonder how long they kept searching for me after Cartenau. Did they follow me out there? Did a few of them die, perhaps trying to take me down in the swarm of bodies? I told Aysun that the last time I’d seen one of them was at that gala, blending in among all those gathered. That was five years ago. What have they been doing all this time? I know they’d already devolved into a petty but successful band of brigands. A far cry from their former glory, but still dangerous nonetheless.

She made me promise not to run out alone this time. No heroics. I didn’t explicitly agree.

The liquor was nice though, cheap as it may have been. Two nights in a row now I’ve been able to enjoy myself, and been surprised at how well my tolerances have kept up. There’s still a little bit left from last night; I’ll probably finish it today sometime.

I feel like I’m losing track of time again. It’s been almost a week now since I woke up in the Fane, and I’ve spent all of it here in this house. Fenix lives on a busy street, and I’m uncomfortable walking out there in my current state. The sooner R’zhumii can help me get this cast off, the better. I’ll probably ‘borrow’ one of the blades downstairs, much like I’m borrowing the small knife in my satchel. Maybe someday I’ll even pay him for them.

Boredom has turned into outright snooping. I’ve picked through more than half the books on his shelf. There isn’t really all that much that interests me; I’m not that knowledgeable about aether or science. I’ll leave that kind of thing to Syesta. I tried to read one, but I just couldn’t sit still long enough. I need to MOVE.

I want to swing a sword.

I want to see things with my own eyes.

I want to find out what happened here.

I want.

6th Sun of the 6th Astral Moon

It feels strange, to hold a quill again in my hand and write. It’s been so long; so long since I’ve even had to communicate in words to another living being, it almost feels like a gift. One thing that living in the wilderness taught me was how precious these things we take for granted are.

I ventured out of this apartment today for the first time. I figured Ul’Dah was the place to get my bearings, since Aysun said it hadn’t been ‘hit’. She was right; for the most part it was the same. Small changes here and there. All the shops were different, there were new buildings, but the crowds were the same. Aysun left me some clothes that fit, and I raided Fenix’s house for food and provisions. I traded a merchant some fruit for this small journal. Nothing fancy, just paper in a binding. But it is mine. This and the clothes on my back are literally the only things to my name.

I’d given up writing journals. I was always so worried, before, that someone might find them and learn things that I did not wish them to learn. I burned the last two, but I felt that I needed to start one again. I didn’t retain much from my time with Makar, but one thing was his passion for note-taking. He always said that writing was the best way to organize one’s thoughts, and in times like these, that is what I need most.

I’m still getting used to this entire situation. One moment I was on the brink of death in the Shroud, the next thing I know I’m waking up next to Aysun – a woman I had given up for dead. Crushed by Dalamud. They threw a blitz of information at me; about time travel and a changing of the world, but it still seems so unreal. I didn’t get much time to dwell on it before I was out in it, in that wilderness. Everthing was different. I hardly recognized the Shroud.

I wonder if immersion really was the best way to go about it. I’m used to change; adaptation has always been one of my stronger suits. Maybe Aysun knew that, which is why she didn’t have a problem with it. But I imagine suddenly seeing your entire world /changed/ would exact quite a toll on some people. It was still a shock to the system, despite being prepared. I dealt with it like I deal with most things; carrying on like it was ‘business as usual’. I was in a blind panic on the inside though. Maybe something snapped.

I shocked myself at how quickly I fell back into my old ways on the ride to Ul’Dah. The way Aysun and I talked and bantered like nothing had ever changed. I think when I was out there, alone, most of my fake conversations were with her. Some were with Eva, and a few of the others, but when I pretended to not be so desperately, soul-crushingly alone, hers was the voice I remembered best. Maybe it was habit to just talk to her like that; I don’t know. But she seems different. Quieter, less apt to jokes. She let the new one, Fenix, do most of the talking. It’s almost as if she’s afraid of something, but I can’t quite put my finger on it. I haven’t seen her since the first night. I wonder if everything is okay.

But yes, Fenix. He’s just one of the many new faces. Most of them are still just voices to me, but his has a face. He is Aysun’s friend. She trusts him; told me point blank to my face that he was worthy of it. I don’t really trust /anyone/ completely, but Aysun vouching is good enough for me. He makes good soup, which can only be a plus. I didn’t talk to him much, but he’s letting a complete stranger stay in his house for free, so he can’t be all that bad. I haven’t seen him since, either.

I stayed inside yesterday, after sleeping until midday. I wasn’t ready to go out. I wanted to sit and focus and try to gather myself. I did poke around the house though. I was going to read something off Fenix’s bookshelf, but a small bound book caught my eye. It had pages missing, and it turned out to be his private journal. I wish I could say that I thought twice about reading it, but I will not try to fool myself. I slid it out and read it, right there in the hallway. I needed to know I could trust him, and knowledge is power. There wasn’t much to read, but there are a few things I saw that raised some questions maybe he will volunteer answers for on his own without any gentle prodding. Beyong that though, he seems a good sort, from what I have read, and what I have heard over the pearl.

Eva did give me a pearl. A replacement one for Crystalline, and a personal one as well. I listened to it for almost two days; the whole ride to Ul’Dah, and all day yesterday. The people are different. There are lots of voices I don’t recognize, but I paid close attention to their conversations, and I can attach names to sounds now. Young people and old people alike. I’ve already started forming some opinions. I’d rather observe them for hiding for a tad bit longer. Any upper hand is a good hand.

I did talk with Eva about them though. Some of the things they were talking about surprised me. Conversations that would have never occurred over a pearl in Everwatch. Some crassness that I’m surprised Eva tolerated for as long as she did. She always was a stickler for that; I did a good job of curbing my tongue in front of her there at the end.

I just realized my choice of words there. What a depressing way to think.

Not only am I alive though, I am alive and well. That is the most surprising thing. I was rarely ‘well’ when I was out in the wilderness; always hungry, always sore, always uncomfortable and afraid. Lonely. Possibly losing my sanity. Even before that, perhaps, was I ever well? A runaway, a killer, trying to recover from a downward spiral into depression only to rise up and see a great moon sinking to send me back down. Wellness can’t be found at the bottom of a bottle or deep in a cave.

Despite this looming sense of dread at facing that strange, unfamiliar world outside these drawn curtains, I feel hopeful. If I can somehow survive a moon, I can survive anything. I’ve stopped counting the number of times that I’ve cheated death at this point, but it is not an insignificant number. Maybe one of the Twelve is up there looking out for me. Or maybe it’s just luck.

My only problem right now is trying to figure out ‘what next’. Perhaps I’ll start speaking on the pearl soon. Talking to people; trying to get an idea of what they are doing with their lives. I spent so long before thinking that I wouldn’t be able to do anything else that I ended up not doing anything at all, and frittered away what easily could have been the last days of my life on fruitless pursuits. My pursuit of fruit in the wilderness at least had a purpose.

I think my first step will be to try and get a sense of Eorzea on a larger scale. Perhaps I’ll see if Fenix or Aysun can loan me a small amount of gil and I can purchase a few papers. Read up on things, get a handle on current events. Yes, reading is the answer. Reading is almost always the answer. Much like listening, learning to stop and take things in as opposed to constantly expelling is the key to wisdom. It’s a lesson a few of those new voices on the pearl could do to learn before it’s too late.

I just re-read what I have written here. More than I expected, to be honest. But it doesn’t feel censored. I used to try and lie to myself; omit things I didn’t want to remember. Make myself feel better. Too bad that would have defeated the point of the exercise. I was worried that these ramblings would feel rushed and unfocused, but they seem to flow rather well. Glad to know I haven’t lost that touch either.

I think I’m going to try and talk on the pearl now.

Runaway: Chapter 1: Desert: Part 7

Selene snapped her arm back quickly.  There was a small splash of water, but the crab didn’t seem to notice.  If it did, it wasn’t moving.  Maybe it was dead.  She couldn’t tell if it was breathing or not.  She looked around in the darkness, trying to find that small point of blue light she had seen earlier.  She needed to get out of here, and fast.  She was breathing heavily, panicking slightly.  This was not the place she wanted to be.

She started moving, making the smallest motions possible.  Her arms held up above the surface of the water, feet tired and sore stepping along underneath.  The cave was silent, the water mostly still, the faint blue light the only beacon she had.  She kept her eyes trained on the light, listening behind her to see if the crab stirred

An eternity seemed to pass.  The light grew slowly closer as she inched her way through the water.  Off in the distance she could hear water dripping from some unseen stalactite, plinking into the perfect stillness of the water, the sound echoing throughout the cave.

*plink*

*plink*

*plink*

Selene took another step forward.  The sandy ground beneath her most recent foothold shifted slightly, pulling her down slightly into the water.  The sudden shock of falling in the total stillness made her let out an involuntary shout in the dark.  She caught herself, not falling into the water.  But the damage was done.  She clamped a wet glove over her mouth, silently screaming inside.

There was a roar, and a churning of water.  Selene glanced over her shoulder as she heard the chattering of claws and mandibles.  The megalocrab was rising from its rest, disturbed by Selene’s shouting.  She could see its form against the blackness, lit ever so faintly by the blue light she was trying to desperately to escape towards.

The jig was up.  The water churned around the base of the crab as it turned to locate the source of the scream.  Abandoning all sense of stealth, Selene started running as fast as the waist-high water would allow.  The crab locked in on her position, letting out a shrill, ear-piercing screech that echoed off the walls of the cave.  Selene didn’t look back.  She focused on moving her exhausted body as fast as it could go.  The crab was having just as much trouble as she was moving through water this high, and this was its natural habitat.

As Selene sprinted towards the light, she could tell that it was coming from behind a wall.  The cave took a twist up ahead, and something blue was emanating from behind it.  Selene didn’t even know if she was heading the right way to find the exit; she was putting all of her hope on this – the only thing she could see.  She could hear the crab behind her, but with all the echoing in the chamber she couldn’t tell if it was gaining or not.

Selene rounded the corner of the cave, desperate to uncover the source of the light.  It was brighter than she anticipated, the blue glow growing hot white at its source to her light-starved eyes.  She groaned, unable to see in the sudden brilliance, shielding her eyes with a glove as she continued to press forward through the water.  She tried to open one eye, peering out from under her guarding arm as she ran, trying to get her bearings.  The light was coming from flowers, large aquamarine orbs of light.  Her eyes started to water, looking around the room.  She tried to look around, see if this chamber had any branching paths, but the light was so overpowering she couldn’t see around.

She could feel the water level lowering as she moved forward.  The ground must be sloping upward.  She could move faster, but she still couldn’t see two feet in front of her in order to get her bearings.  She wandered over to a cluster of the glowing lights, ducking down in the middle of them, remaining perfectly still.

They were plants.  As her vision slowly began to return and sharpen, she could tell that she was sitting in some foliage.  The orbs were some kind of luminescent flower that she’d never seen before.  She bent one slightly, trying to hide her shape in the light.  Her eyes were watering, and her heart was racing.  She was listening closely for the crab.  The splashing lessened, she could hear its mandibles clicking as it searched for her.  She continued to look around the room, searching in earnest for a way out or.

There was a screeching noise at the crab rounded the corner to the glowing room.  Its’ light-sensitive eyes were in revolt.  It shied away, ducking slightly back into the darkness of the cave.  It still wanted to chase her, she could tell, but it was now hesitant.  Selene squinted through the light to see her assailant for the first time.

It had been nighttime when the megalocrab first attacked her in the Thanalan sands.  She had only seen it illuminated for a split-second  in the lightning before the two of them had been flushed into the caverns by the flash flood, and it was pitch black down here in the caves.  Now here, in the glow, she could see it.

It was massive; larger than any she had ever seen before.  It was old, scarred by battles with who knows what kind of assailants.  She counted a few distinct kinds of wounds.  Axe wounds, marks that looked like it had been attacked by other crabs.  Small puncture wound that looked as though it had been shot by arrows or stabbed.  This crab had been through seven hells and back.  One of its eyes was dead, white and opaque.  She watched the crab as it hesitantly walked into the glowing room.  Selene was perfectly hidden.

Selene had been in plenty of encounters with megalocrabs in La Noscea’s outskirts to know how they fought.  Their primitive eyes could only see changes in light and dark, and they were sensitive to sound.  Crouching here like this, surrounded on all sides by light-emitting orbs, she was literally invisible to the massive crab.  She took the opportunity to look around her.

Selene scanned the walls, her eyes finally adjusted to the bright lights.  The room she was in was a dead end.  The only path was back the way she came, into the water.  The megalocrab was now in the center of the circular alcove, turning around in the middle to try and find her.  There was nowhere else she could be.

The crab turned around in its search, mandibles clicking.  As it rotated in place, a glint caught Selene’s eye.  Something shiny was stuck on the surface of the crab’s carapace, shining brightly in the light of the orbs.  Selene squinted, trying to peer through the glare to see what it was.

It was an old sword; a straight blade wedged into the hard surface of the crab’s shell.  Its design was strange; perfectly straight with almost no hilt to speak of.  A rotting strip of leather was wrapped around the handle, barely hanging on by a thread.  It was obviously sharp enough to pierce… and stick.  Selene took a deep breath.

The crab clicked its mandibles angrily.  It turned sharply, obviously frustrated that its prey had escaped.  It turned away from Selene, gnashing its claws.  She steeled her nerves, fighting back all of her mental urges to stay put.  True, she was safe where she was, for the moment, but it was a dead end.  There was no way to sneak out now that the crab was in here, and even if it backtracked down the tunnel there’s no way she’d be able to sneak past it.

Selene moved her hands as slowly as she could, moving them up towards one of the glowing plants.  She slowly twisted the orb around on its stem until it snapped of silently.  To her surprise, it stayed lit.  She held it back behind her, primed and ready to throw.

Selene took a deep break.

It was now or never.

Selene snapped like a taught bowstring, sprinting from her hiding place and running towards the crab.  It turns to face her, screeching as it gnashed its claws.  Selene chucked the glowing orb in her hand, throwing it over the crab’s head.  It turned, following the source of the motion with a screech.  Mustering up all the strength her sore legs still had in them, Selene launched herself onto the crab’s back.  It skittered after the orb, so excited that it might have found its target that it was completely ignoring the woman on its back.  Selene clung on for dear life, climbing forward hand over hand towards the embedded sword.

The crab reached the orb, lurching forward and stabbing at its target with a giant claw.  It pulled back, stabbing repeatedly in a frenzy of rage.  Selene stretched out, fingertips finally reaching the sword.  Pulling herself forward, she braced her feet against the shell and ripped the sword out of the crab’s back.  It squealed in pain, turning in place, searching for the source of its pain.  It couldn’t see Selene, sitting atop it and trying to maintain her balance.  She gripped the sword wound, using it as a handhold to stay atop.  The crab was suddenly aware of her, bucking wildly to get her off.  It tried to reach up and grab her in its pincers, but Selene was just out of range.

The crab went into desperation mode.  It scuttled as fast as it could towards the nearest cave wall, trampling glowing plants beneath its feet.  It slammed into the wall, the sudden jerking motion sending a shudder through Selene’s bones.  She maintained her grip, trying not to fall off.  The crab repeatedly smashed its side against the wall trying to dislodge her.  Selene stood up on the balls of her feet and then launched herself into the air, landing awkwardly on the ground in front of the crab.

She scrambled back onto her feet as the crab turned to face her, gnashing its claws wildly in the air in frustration that its prey could evade it for so long.  Selene jumped up, slamming the sword into the crab’s last good eye, feeling a satisfying squish as the old blade pierced the juicy organ.  She ripped it out violently, trying to lock herself into a defensive position.  Juices sprayed from the crab’s eye as it flailed about wildly, no completely blind.  It staggered as it tried to walk, unable to locate Selene.  Its behavior erratic, Selene readied her sword and ran forward, lunging and thrusting her blade into the crabs screeching mouth, stabbing the soft flesh.  She twisted the blade and tore it out, blood flying into the air.  She ducked under a wild incoming claw, then struck the crab again with the blade, aiming for the soft roof of its mouth, aiming for the brain.

Selene let go of the hilt, falling down to the ground in exhaustion and scooted out of the way, just in time to avoid a crab claw lunging into the ground where she had been standing.  She back away, the crab physically incapable of following her.  Its legs buckled and one side fell into the dirt.  It tried to scream, but the sword stuck in its throat reduced it to a pathetic gurgle.  Blood spattered out onto the floor as the crab gave a final wheezing lurch towards her before collapsing.

Dead.

Selene’s chest was heaving with exertion and panic.  Sweat beaded on her forehead as her muscles stiffened back up.  The adrenaline flooded from her body as she collapsed back against the ground, closing her eyes.  Her breathing slowly returned to normal and she slowly sat back up, fighting back the aches in her body.  She pushed herself to her feet, crawling to the corpse of the dead megalocrab.  She planted a foot on its old dead eye and reached a gloved hand down to the old blade.  She grasped it by the hilt and slowly pulled it out of the crab’s brain with a sickening pop.  She gave the crab one last look, and limped out of the cavern.

 

*     *     *     *     *

 

End of Chapter I

THE BEGINNING OF THE END AND AFTER – PART 2

Selene never made it to Merlwyb’s force. The blood-soaked paladin stumbled forward, choking back worry. Bodies swirled on all sides, some advancing and some making slight retreats to regroup before rushing back towards the main battle. Selene sheathed her sword, still coated in blood, and removed a metal gauntlet. She stopped advancing, reaching into one of her side pouches and bringing out a cloth to wipe the blood of her foes from her brow and eyes. The rag came away soaked, and Selene cringed as she tossed it to the ground. It would never be of use to her again. She looked up as she slid her fingers back into the gauntlet, watching as Dalamud slowly advanced, crackling and spinning with menace.

“So this is how I die,” she thought. Her world was falling apart around her. Aysun was… she was most likely dead. She knew Blade was here somewhere, probably trying to rally whatever forces he could. Vaelyn was probably trying to be the valiant hero somewhere, monologuing to whatever foe he was fighting about things being right and just. She was glad that Eva had kept the good sense to flee to safety in her homeland. Her babies deserved a chance to live. Nel and the others were safe wherever that island was, that was good. She wondered what her parents had done. She had no idea where they were. She prayed that they had the sense to flee somewhere. She wasn’t worried about Aatrix either. He was-

She shook her head violently. Why was she thinking about that bastard at this time? He’d probably try to /buy/ Dalamud before he’d think of running. But she was sure he was safe, unfortunately. He wasn’t a fool.

Suddenly, something strong pushed her to the ground. She fell to her knees, looking up to see what had shaken her from her thoughts. A large Roegadyn leading a column of troops towards the front shouted down at her.

“Oi! Watch yer arse, ye damn fool!” he spat as he marched past her. “You’ll end up dead if you keep staring up at the sky!” He points at a few other people marching in the column. “You lot, pick her arse up and bring her with. We’re making this charge as soon as we reach the line!” Two elezen broke formation to walk towards her, reaching their gangly arms down to lift her to her feet. Selene swatted their hands away with a metal glove. “I can stand just fine,” she snapped as she got back on her feet.

She was suckered into this new charge now, she thought. Not that it mattered. She wasn’t aligned with any one particular company or squad; she would just fight forward until everything in front of her was dead, or she went first. Strength in numbers was never an unwelcome thing though, and having a small band to fight with would improve her chances of survival. The column picked up speed as it marched, staying well behind the front line and moving parallel to it. There was no real formation to be seen, as people constantly had to break ranks in order to maneuver around corpses or craters left by explosions. Selene marveled in awe at the dead husk of an Imperial Magitek armor suit, its legs melted away by some powerful magic spell. The driver was slumped atop, an arrow piercing his throat and his mouth contorted in agony.

“We’re all the same,” Selene thought to herself as they marched past piles of the dead. “Under our respective banners, under our helmets, we’re not so different; Just the pawns of leaders that can’t seem to agree.” She was once again pulled from her thoughts by her newfound Roegadyn squad leader.

“Alright, ye daring basterds!” he shouted, turning around to face the assembled troops. The moment was haunting, as they stood there standing in the dirt while explosions wracked the earth nearby and plumes of fire and smoke rose up from behind the main line. “There’s a battalion entrenched on the other side of the line, and they’re raisin’ hell over here for us. It’s the only place where they can bombard some of our key locations, but the positionin’s bad for them!” he shouted, grinning. “They’re right up against a cliff! An’ we’re gon’ DRIVE THEM OFF THE TWELVESDAMN FACE OF IT!”

“So this is how I die,” she thought. In a medium-sized handful of troops foolish enough to try and rush a key Garlean strategic position. There was no doubt already a large amount of fighting going on there. The Eorzean Alliance would be foolish to not try and take out a stronghold like that as soon as possible. Now Selene had found herself in the middle of a spearhead group, running on a suicide mission into the heart of the storm.

The column cheered, pumping their fists and weapons into the air. The Captain continued his motivational speech, spewing hate and venom. In the heat of the moment, the soldiers around her began to whip up into a fervor, but Selene tuned it out. She wanted to keep a clear head. The crowd mentality wouldn’t help that. The Captain raised his axe, and lowered it with a roar. The column began its charge, pushing through the front as they rushed the Garlean battalion.

As soon as they breached the front, people began dropping. Arrows, errant sword swipes; Selene was nearly crushed when a roegadyn in front of her in the column was struck in his neck and fell backwards into her. She dodged quickly, and started pushing her way to the center of the column. The more bodies between her and the entire Garlean empire, the better. She risked a glance behind at the front line, and her mouth dropped open.

Their psychotic push through the front had broken the Garlean line, and a swarm of soldiers from the Eorzean alliance was pushing forward behind them. They had been a rallying point, a beacon, and others were now following suit. Selene stayed tight in the middle of the advancing force, wincing every time someone along the edge of their line was cut down.

They hit the enemy artillery camp like a blacksmith beats his anvil. The Garlean force consisted of several Magitech ride armors, several archer bands, and a meager defensive unit. The spearhead had positioned most of their shields at the front of the column, and they pushed in hard and quick while the heavy hitters behind quickly made short work of the Garlean footsoldiers. A black mage in the column quickly launched several powerful spells into one of the Magitech suits, immobilizing it in seconds; the metal twisting and melting in the intense magical heat. Selene readied her shield as they pushed forward.

The Garlean force was caught off guard. They didn’t realize that the front line had been breached, and the spearhead was charging with such ferocious speed that it was almost too late. The magitech machines were of little use at such close range. Their firepower was too intense to fire behind the main line; there would be too many casualties. They couldn’t flee either, since they had set up with their backs to the edge of a gorge. They were sitting ducks, and the Eorzean archers knew it, concentrating their fire on killing the magitech pilots.

The Garlean archer columns were a different story. Selene watched them over the top of her shield. They panicked for a moment, but quickly made the spearhead their main target. As she saw them re-train their arrows on her position, she dropped to her knee, slamming her tower shield into the earth like a wall. Arrows pinged off the surface of it as they fired. The spearhead began to crumble slightly, its focus now divided between the three targets in the encampment. All they had was the element of surprise, and that was slowly crumbling as the Garlean force regrouped.

“So this is how I die,” she thought. Selene hunkered down, not moving, and unsure of where to proceed. Arrows pinged off her shield as she looked around, trying to decide on a course of action. As she deliberated, a Garlean warrior landed on the ground next to her, screaming in pain. An arrow was lodged in his knee, under an armored plate. He was too fixated on his wound to notice Selene, sitting there and watching him wide eyed. She stared at him for a few moments, then reached to her side and drew her knife. She turned it in her hand a few times, pondering as he remained oblivious to her. A quick flick of the wrist and he was dead, throat cut and bleeding out onto the dirt. She pulled the body close as the last of his lifeblood drained out, propping it up to use as a human shield. And then she waited.

 

 

The Garlean front line was broken. The spearhead had done its job in rallying their troops, and they quickly laid waste to the Garlean forces. Selene could hear their cheers behind her, staying put even as the sounds of arrows deflecting off of her shield began to fade away. Maybe the Garleans had forgotten that she was there, but moving to try and check now was still suicide. One woman against a whole column of archers? Not a chance. She looked up at Dalamud, still hovering in the sky. If there was even the smallest chance that she wouldn’t get crushed to death, she didn’t want to risk throwing it all away in this foolish battle.

She felt the rumble first, before the heard the roar. The ground beneath her began to shake, and she looked around behind her makeshift wall to identify the source. Her eyes widened and her lips broke into a smile; there was still hope. The Eorzean line had regrouped, and was making its charge on the battalion. The spearhead was scattered and dead, but it had done its job. The magitek armor was all but destroyed, the shields they had to protect the encampment had been the first to go. All that remained were perhaps four score of archers, the ones that Selene was hiding from. One crippled magitech armor exploded, sending metal shards flying everywhere as a frontline mage finished him off.

Selene waited until the front line had passed her and she was back among the bulk of the Eorzean force. She stood slowly, discarding the dead Garlean onto the ground. She began to run with the charging force, her sword drawn but not at the ready. The archers stood little chance against their numbers, and within moments the entire Artillery position had been overrun. The Eorzean Alliance let out a collective cheer at their success, fists pumping into the air. Selene was nonplussed. She was about to sheathe her blade, but something caught her attention.

Off to the side, near the edge, a lone Garlean was holding on to the edge of the cliff. His nails were digging in to the lip, trying to haul himself back up to safety. Nobody among the Alliance seemed to notice him but Selene. She broke away from the main group, walking over to him slowly, her sword swinging idly at her side, stopping a few feet away from him.

He stopped his struggle, looking up at her with fear in his eyes. He tried to adjust his grip, his eyes locked on her blade. He looked back up at her, his eyes pleading with her.

“Please,” he begged. “Don’t kill me, please.” Selene stared down at him, her face blank as he blubbered. “Please, I can pay you,” he said, his nails digging into the dirt. “I… please, I don’t want to die, not here.”

Without warning, a massive explosion echoed about, sending shockwaves across the landscape. Selene staggered slightly, looking about to see where something of that magnitude could have come from. The Garlean’s grip faltered slightly, and he lost a few inches. His feat dangled wildly, trying to get back up on the lip to no avail. Selene looked up to where Dalamud hovered, and her mouth dropped open in fear.

Giant blue glowing stones appeared like knives along its burning surface, piercing and plummeting to the ground. Cracks of fire began to trace across the sphere, meteors and chunks of stone falling like fire down to the ground. The sky darkened, reddened, and the battle about her came to a halt as both sides looked as one towards the heavens.

The blue stone dislodged from the egg, plummeting through a haze of smoke down to the surface. Cloud plumes billowed forth as it collided, making Selene stagger again. She fell to her knees, dropping her sword. The Garlean soldier saw his opportunity, reaching out and grabbing her ankle and pulling her towards the edge. She screamed, managing to twist as she was dragged just in time to catch herself on the edge. The two of them hung there, dangling. Selene lashed out with her feet, trying to kick him down to his death.

“So this is how I die,” she thought: Hanging off the edge of a cliff in Cartenau Flats, waiting for gravity to inevitably take her life while a moon exploded above her like a volcano suspended in midair. She slipped a little bit, barely hanging on.

“Stupid bitch!” the Garlean laughed at her as he swung his legs about, trying to use his momentum to push himself back up onto the ledge. “You should have killed me when you had the chance!” One leg was up, and then the other soon followed. He stood up, victorious above her. Selene tried to climb, but couldn’t. There was nothing for it. This is how she would die. The Garlean crouched down in front of her, drawing a small knife from his pouch. He raised it above his head, ready to plunge it down on her head.

Selene let go.

 

The Beginning of the End and After – Part 1

Selene looked up from the clear pool as she heard the rumbling of feet. The march was beginning… she could feel the trudging of thousands long before she could hear them. She taps Aysun gently on the knee, looking towards the mouth of the cave.

“The soldiers, Kitten,” she says. “Sounds like they’re starting.” Fireflies spritz around cave plants as the dull echoes of nature are disturbed by the oncoming war. Selene fidgets in her armor, suddenly uncomfortable in its steel trappoings. She doesn’t want to be here. She doesn’t want to die.

**

Aysun had been quiet for some time now. Lost in thought, so it seemed, but really, her mind was just blank at this point. When Selene tapped her knee, she looked up from where she’d been staring at the pool of water. Soldiers, adventurers.. they were both, as were most of the people walking by outside the cave. She may have even seen familiar faces among them, had she looked.

She stood and nodded to Selene’s words, leaving her satchel where she had been sitting. She wouldn’t need it anymore, after all, it would just be a burden here.

She was teetering on words. They had been failing her for awhile now, and it wasn’t surprising they were again. She could tell Selene that she didn’t have to be here, but she needed her to be. She could tell her she didn’t want to be here, but she had to be.. But those words didn’t come.

“Come on, we don’t want to fall behind,” she said as she headed to the mouth of the cave, beckoning Selene with a hand if she didn’t follow straight away. Watching the mass of people heading west to meet battle for a moment, she then looked back to Selene again, asking cautiously, “You alright?”

**

Selene nods, putting a hand on her knee to push herself to her feet. She rises slowly, but steadily. Every moment a little more of the fear fades away, to be replaced only by dull acceptance. “I’m fine,” she says, stretching her muscles and taking a few deep breaths. She kicks a small rock into the pool and turns to face the entrance, stepping towards Aysun. Her sabatons crunch the dirt beneath her feet as she looks out towards the advancing army.

She holds a moment of silence as she thinks. This is the end. There’s no turning back here. She is prepared to die, prepared to let Dalamud crush her to pieces even if she should somehow survive a thousand enemy swords. She doesn’t plan on falling to them. But a meteor from the heavens… there is little a shield can do against that.

The thought of the heavy shield slung across her back made her falter again. She still remembered the day that Eufrasi had given it to her, a gift for finally becoming a paladin. It had been too heavy for her to use effectively then, but she had pushed herself and pushed herself until it just felt like another appendage. Oh Twelve, just thinking of Eufrasi made her smile. A silly little period in her silly little life. Her thoughts turned to Blade then, and she pushed them out as she reached her hands up to her head. Some wounds were still too fresh.

Hands wrapped in gauntlets slowly undid the blue ribbon knotted into her short hair. She’d done her best to try and make her chop job look passable, but the results had been… well, not particularly impressive. She pulled the thin strip of cloth out, placing a hand on Aysun’s shoulder and turning her slightly to get a better look at her. She reached out and tied the ribbon into Aysun’s hair, quickly and deftly. She smiles, stepping back to admire her handiwork.

“There,” she says. “That should be better than any spell of protection.”

**

Aysun let the silence hang thick in the air after Selene’s response. For a moment she watched the spot where the pebble Selene had kicked landed in the pool. Her gaze was drawn back to Selene as she approached, and she forced a small smile.

‘Fine’ she had said. Yea, she was fine. As fine as Aysun herself no doubt, which meant she was likely on the verge of just letting the aether take her away from the cave, away from Mor Dhona and Dalamud. That would have been the smart thing to do. No sense being here, fighting a losing battle. Even if the battle was won, Dalamud was their end. Oh how she hated that particular spiral of thoughts.

Still, the forced smile remained as she looked back out of the cave entrance to those they’d be joining shortly. Did all of them know the fate they were to meet? Surely they would know. They were just brave, or devoted, or trapped, or maybe they were just misled..

She blinked, turning slightly at the pressure on her shoulder to look back to Selene again. Her smile wasn’t forced this time as she held still a moment and the ribbon settled on her shoulder, surprised. She nodded as Selene stepped back, though she promptly stepped forward in persuit to pull her into a hug briefly. It may not have been the time or the place for such a thing, but what other time was there?

“Thank you for.. for everything,” she said quietly, and she left it at that.

**

Selene embraces her as warmly as a woman whose hands are wrapped in steel can. She smiles and exhales happily, running a hand down her back reassuringly. “You too, Aysun… you too.” She pulls back, holding Aysun at arms length with a confident, motherly smile.

She doesn’t call her Kitten… no need for nicknames now. How many times had they embraced like this? Had a poignant talk? Shared a moment of confidence that they’d never shared with another? Selene had lost count… and now this was going to be their last one. The thought was enough to break her heart.

“Come on,” she half-whispers, more out of a desire not to cry than an inability to formulate words. “We don’t want to fall behind,” she says, mimicking what Aysun had just said. She slips her shield from her back and slides it over her arm, nodding at the young Miqo’te and making confident strides towards the mouth of the cave.

**

Aysun took a steadying breath and nodded to Selene. This was probably one of the reasons she had asked her to come fight with her in the first place. She was beyond needing “comfort” or some such at this point. No, now it was simply that Selene hid her fear well, and it was motivation for Aysun to hide her own too and push onward.

She followed without another word initially, reaching back for her bow and an arrow to nock. She dreaded the march west they were joining. But it likely wouldn’t be as far as she thought before they met the opposing force. Once out of the cave, she could not help but look up. It was hard to miss what she was looking at as she walked.

**

Selene didn’t look up. She knew full well what was up there; she’d been staring at it growing ever larger for moons. Looking up would be the worst decision in the world… she’d probably succumb right then and there. At the mouth of the cave they stopped as the force marched past. Picking a thin patch in the crowd, she motions to Aysun and slips in, matching the pace of the rest of the army quickly.

The march wasn’t fast. This many people trying to move in unison, people that had never marched together before, was almost impossible. All manner of people were assembled here; soldiers, adventurers, various standard bearers of the various companies. There had been no time to train, no time to practice as a cohesive unit. They were throwing everything they had at the enemy, and praying to the Twelve it did the trick. Selene stuck close to Aysun, her hand gripping the shield’s strap so tightly her hand was beginning to go numb. She glanced over at the Miqo’te every now and then, but tried not to let her gaze linger, and showed no emotion on her steeled face.

**

Aysun tore her gaze away from Dalamud, mostly because she had tripped over some uneven earth and stumbled. It was enough to draw her attention back to the present. She fell into step next to Selene quietly, wishing she could see over those infront of them. She was sure there were some Lalafell riding on shoulders up there, how unfair.

“I’ll have to fall back-” she said after some time, seeing a pillar of smoke a little ways ahead of them, “-When we meet them.” She motioned with her bow, as if to explain why they would need some distance between them. She looked to the taller Hyur woman momentarily before letting her gaze wander the terrain, attempting to figure out where she might go. She needed distance, but she needed to keep Selene in sight as well.

“Do you see anything ahead?” she questioned quietly.

There was an explosion further ahead then, a tremble that seemed to shake the ground. Then some distant cheers, though they quickly stopped as those making them were rushed by a wave of imperials.

**

Selene looks back at Aysun as she explains her tactical plans and nods. Of course she’d have to fall back… she was ranged. And naturally, Selene would be at the front. There wasn’t really any way for them to stick together efficiently in this fight. The very nature of their styles said so. But Selene would stay by Aysun’s side if she had to. She was here to protect HER, not to kill their foes. She could care less what happened to these other strangers.

“Do you see anything ahead?” Aysun asked. Selene didn’t need to stretch much to see over the heads of most of the assembled. There was nothing really to see but an endless sea of heads, bobbing and weaving without rhyme or reason. She glanced back down at Aysun and shook her head. “No, nothing at all.” She didn’t tell her that she could see the glow of fires in the evening sky, see embers flickering into the air not far away, see a hill far in the distance with enemy artillery encamped. They were close. There was not much left to march now.

She heard the cheers first. “Nock an arrow,” she says to the girl, her own hand inching towards the large sword at her side. She rested her palm on the pommel, not ready yet to draw it. She adjusted the grip of her shield, brushed a stray hair out of her eyes. The end was coming.

The cheers that were silenced were replaced by the roars of combat. Hundreds of men and women shouting their own personal shouts of self-encouragement, two opposing forces trying desperately to keep their morale up. Men at the front lines who knew they were as good as dead needed /something/ to justify their sacrifice. Both sides cheered for their families at home. Both sides cheered for their brothers in arms at their sides. Both sides cheered for the causes they believed in. Selene would not be cheering this day.

Then the explosions came. Mages launching powerful spells down into the fray. Garlean magitech unleashing the full brunt of their weapons. Gunblades discharging. The clang and clamor of metal on metal could start to be heard. Selene could see the forward lines starting to charge, making a wave back to where they were standing. She turned back to Aysun.

“We’re going to charge soon!” she shouts over the din of warfare. “Stay close to me! I’ll keep you safe! I promise!” she shouts, finally drawing her sword. It glints in the light of the fires, perfectly sharpened and shined.

**

Aysun seemed a little unnerved by Selene’s response of ‘nothing at all,’ one finger plucking at her bow string a couple times. Not that she didn’t believe her, she was just anxious by this point. Ready to fight, even if she wasn’t ready to die.

She tilted her head slightly at the cheers, glancing to Selene as they transitioned to something else entirely. War cries, pain and exertion, met her ears. Even more anxious now, she set the arrow she’d pulled previously in place properly, ‘nocking’ it as instructed. ‘Nothing at all’ huh.. now she didn’t believe her.

She heard the battle, it was closer now. She looked to Selene, alittle wide-eyed as she shouted to her, and nodded. No time to dispute, or figure out any real plan. The wave of movement had reached them and it was either run or be trampled from behind. Aysun didn’t yell like many of those around her as they rushed forward to push into the opposing force. She saw the juggernauts now, above the sea of fighting they were running towards, and that amongst other things took her breath away; she couldn’t have yelled if she wanted to.

As the two forces merged and mixed, the nameless, faceless man in front of her suddenly staggered and fell as a bullet hit him somewhere clearly critical. Instinctively she drew back her bowstring, and fired on the Imperial that had been opposite him. As he fell, she sidestepped to follow Selene and nocked another arrow.

**

Warfare like oil and water. Two sides are separate, they merge into a sea of chaos, and when all is said and done they return to how they were. The women were somewhere in the middle phase now as the lines began to blur. Selene set her shield firmly and stepped forward as quickly as she dared, not wanting to lose track of Aysun in the swirl of bodies. Her sword arm was taught, ready to spring as her eyes darted around looking for a target. The corner of her eye caught a Garlean approaching with his halberd set to thrust – she angled her shield to accept his oncoming thrust, deflecting it upwards into the air. His body was wide open now, throat open to a blade. Selene obliged with a quick thrust, grunting as she pulled it back out of his neck, blood spraying onto the clean steel. Target dealt with, she looked around wildly, trying to keep Aysun’s position locked. Bullets whizzed by overhead, explosions and sprays of dirt echoed across the Flats. The charge was over, there was nothing to do but search and destroy now.

She spied Aysun and shuffled back over to her, keeping shield ready and eyes peeled. Aysun was a ranged fighter, focusing on targets far away. Selene would protect her from foes nearby that might be out of her focus. It didn’t take long for her to find another enemy, this one wielding a sword. It was a simple strategy; defend, parry, destroy. Blood flew into the air, a few specks landing in Selene’s hair.

“Are you okay?!” she shouts blindly over her shoulder to Aysun. “I’ve got your back!”

**

Aysun scanned the crowd, turning her head slightly to Selene’s yell. She backpeddled a little, so they ended up back-to-back somewhat. That would make it easier for her to keep track of things, she hoped.

“I’m-” she paused, letting loose an arrow as a man with a lance rushed towards her, “-fine!” He fell.

She glanced back, checking that Selene was still near by and alright as well, before whipping back around to scope out another target in her line of sight. Selene was certainly right in thinking Aysun was not focussed on the ‘near’ at the moment. It was difficult to be in the middle of such a thing armed with a bow. She’d be much better off if she’d found somewhere to perch and rain arrows down. Instead, she had to keep reminding herself to watch her sides, and behind her, for Selene, rather than just what was in front of her.

She darted forward, grabbing the feathered shaft of an arrow she’d fired not long ago and pulling it from the body it was lodged in with a grunt, before letting it fly at another in her line of sight. She had to be conservative and gather back what she could. To run out would cause a whole different world of trouble.

Or would it? She looked up, then. Searching out Dalamud–not that it was hard to find. Lightning crackled and raced over the cloud layer that had settled over Eorzea for a moon now. Dalamud hung low, lighting the battlefield with its eery glow. As long as she didn’t run out before /that/ happened.

**

Selene had never experienced war before. It was something completely unlike regular combat. Thousands of little fights breaking out. It was relentless; a man goes down, another took his place. Two, three, like a hydra. She could cut a man down without trouble. Four, five, that was simple. But she was well past a few dozen now, and her pace was slowing. She was already starting to run on gut and not finesse. Selene rammed her blade into the gut of a Garlean, lashing out with a foot to kick another one in the side. She hastily ripped the longsword out, entrails and blood spewing behind it as she brought it down in an arc onto the head of the off-balance foe, cleaving through armor and bone. She took a deep breath, spitting enemy blood out of her mouth onto the ground. She looked back over at Aysun, over her shoulder. Her eyes widened.

“AYSUN! YOUR LEFT!” A Garlean with a spear was charging at her, screaming a battlecry while Aysun was busy aiming elsewhere. She shouted, dragging herself back over to the Miqo’te. She wouldn’t get there fast enough. “AYSUUUUUN! SPEEEAAAR!”

**
Aysun heard Selene’s shout, even if she had not noticed the Garlean’s as he ran at her. It had just been more noise to her, after all, adding to what was a deafening mixture of sounds already. She’d let her arrow loose mere moments before, and as she turned her attention to her left she desperately readied another. There was no time to aim, and she fired as quick as she could. The arrow struck the Garlean in the right side of his chest, and he staggered slightly in his charge a few mere fulms from her.

He didn’t stop though, not for a second. The stagger had destroyed his attempt to impail her and so, injured, the lancer fell back on more primitive means of accomplishing his goal. Without a moment’s hesitation, he swung his lance at her, a bastardization of the art that only a desperate man would think to do.

Surprised, and with not even a chance to get another arrow to finish the job, she cried out, “Sele–!”

The Garlean’s lance struck her head, and she collapsed in a heap abruptly. The Garlean shouted, and rounded on Selene, an arrow still sticking from his chest. Adrenaline was an amazing thing, and although his breathing was labored as he adjusted the grip on his lance to a proper one, he charged at her, ready to meet her. Battle did not stop for anything.

**

Selene’s eyes widened in horror as Aysun crumpled to the ground. She roared in anger, rage and hatred fueling her movements. She charged headfirst at the spearman, her sword tip dragging against the ground. The distance between them closed quickly, Selene’s vision going read with fury. She swung her blade, using the ground’s resistance to propel her blade tip upwards, underneath the spearman’s guard. She twisted her body, losing her balance but dodging his vicious thrust. She fell to the ground, but not before her longsword embedded itself deep in his belly. Blood gushed out over her arm, and his dying body landed on top of her with a thud. She struggled against his weight, pinned.

It took a moment, but she managed to free herself from his bulk. Her vision still clouded with fury, she picked up her sword and brought it down again on top of the spearman’s corpse, twice, three times. She collapsed to her knees, face and body covered in his blood. Exhausted, she looked back over at Aysun, suddenly remembering where she was: in the middle of a battlefield. She readied her shield as she rushed over to her friend’s side.

“Aysun! Come on, Aysun, talk to me!” she shouts, taking her by the shoulders and trying to wake her up, not realizing that she’s spreading blood everywhere.

**

Aysun was surprisingly unmarred by blood, save that which Selene had splattered onto her previously while fighting, and now as she shook her limp form. However, it was also matting her hair above one eye, trailling down her face, stemming from a mostly hidden wound. She was unmoving, unresponsive to Selene’s cries. Fingers were still curled around the grip of her bow loosely, eyes only mostly shut, unseeing.

But the battle still didn’t stop, and Selene was a sitting duck. It was not surprsing that she was noticed and targetted quite quickly.

**

Selene looked up just in time to see an axeman charging at her. She raises her shield just in time to deflect a blow, getting knocked back on her ass in the process. She turned it into a roll, managing to put some distance between her and Aysun. She didn’t want a fight breaking out right over her unconscious friend. The axeman recovers quicker than she expects, and charges at her with another heavy swing. He’s telegraphing his hacks, and she has plenty of time to dodge… but her sword is still over by Aysun. She leaps clear, easily dodging the slow hack, retrieving her blade and turning around, planting her sword in the man’s back, she ends another life. She looks around, making sure she’s in the clear before she sheathes her blade and runs back to Aysun. She picks the unconscious miqo’te up in her arms, beating a hasty retreat.

“WHITE MAGE!” she shouts as she heads back towards the Eorzean Alliance’s main headquarters, seeking anyone that can help between here and there. “WHITE MAGE! DAMMIT, WHITE MAGE! SHIIIIIIT!”

“Here!” calls back a voice. Selene spins around, careful not to put too much force on Aysun. A hearty rogaedyn dressed in white robes and carrying a large staff runs over. He looks at the blood-soaked hyur, and then at the unconscious miqo’te. “Which one needs it more?” he asks, picking a strange time to try and crack a joke. Selene forces a smile, wiping up blood trickling from her forehead and gesturing down at Aysun. The Roegadyn nods, reaching out his arms to take her, and Selene reluctantly lets her go. “She’s still breathing,” she says. “She’s going to be fine, right?”

“I’ll do what I can,” the white mage says as he lays Aysun down on the ground. Soldiers and adventurers swirl about them, either regrouping or rushing back to the front lines. Bodies are strewn about, many injured beyond any hope of being saved. A young hyur girl, no more than 17 cycles, lies off to the side, holding her own severed arm in her hands as she chokes on the blood that fills her lungs. Selene looks away, back down to the white mage. He looks back up at her.

“What are you still doing here?” he asks. “Go join Merlwyb and her second wave, they need more shields.”
“I’m not going to leave her here,” says Selene forcefully.
“GO, SOLDIER!” shouts the white mage, his brow furrowing as he begins waving her arms. “There’s more lives at stake than this one!” Selene grits her teeth together, then nods and storms off. “I’m coming back for her!” she shouts over her shoulder.

She didn’t want to leave. She needed to stay here with Aysun, make sure she was going to be okay. She’d already fucked that up; she was unconscious. She hadn’t done her job as a paladin. She was a failure. She couldn’t even protect her best friend, the only person that really meant anything to her. She stopped dead in her tracks, about ready to run back and check on her, the consequences be damned. She’d desert if it meant saving Aysun’s life. She turned around, but then something caught her ear. A whistling sound, growing louder and louder. She looked up.

Against the glowing backdrop of Dalamud, a streak was flying through the air. A volley from a Garlean’s magitek artillery, screaming across the sky. It was headed straight towards the area where Selene had left Aysun with that white mage. Her mouth opened in horror. She started to sprint, running full tilt. There was no way she could outrun something like that though. She watched as the blast fell down into a sea of soldiers as if in slow motion. She couldn’t see the exact landing spot for all of the warriors in the way, but she felt the rumble in her feet as it landed, detonating.

An explosion rocked her, a column of fire spewing up from the ground as it sent bodies flying in all directions. A wall of smoke and dirt came flying at Selene, and she shielded her eyes as she was buffeted by the aftershocks. She stumbled forward blindly, coughing and hacking. The dust settled, and she kept running, trying to find the point of impact. She arrived at a smoke crater, charred corpses on all sides. Her head swiveled wildly, trying to find any sign of Aysun or the white mage.

“AYSUUUUN!” she screamed in horror. “AYSUN WHERE ARE YOU?!” She runs around to the other side, searching, seeking. But there was nothing to see. Just strangers, all trying to stay alive as best they could. A tear ran down her face as she bit her lip, feeling hopeless and alone out there on the battlefield. She felt a lump in her throat, fear rising. There was nothing left for her to do. She turned, slowly sprinting back towards the front line, ready to join the charge.

“Let her live,” she prayed to whichever of the Twelve might be listening. “Let Aysun still be alive”