I don’t remember La Noscea being this humid. It was always sort of… blustery. All those high bluffs, with no tree cover to break up the rolling winds. The salty sea air always brought out the wandering spirit in me. Perhaps that’s why I couldn’t stay in Limsa very long this time. That and, of course, the lack of available work.
The longer I go without a job, the more I can feel the allure of the sword at my hip. I keep getting it out while I wander and swinging it around, practicing the forms. It’s been so long since I fought without a shield though; and I feel somewhat naked. I feel like I need something else in my other hand. Another weapon, maybe? Maybe I could invest in a larger sword, but that would reduce some of my flexibility and speed. Not that I really want to fight anything these days. I keep reiterating that to people these days, but I can’t help but wonder if it’s more to convince myself than to convince them.
There’s been a lot of that though, reiterating. I’ve had lots of meetings with people that I wasn’t plan on. I only really spoke with Keisuna once back before the Calamity, but she asked for me over the pearl. Me specifically. I felt odd, and it was so out of the blue that it managed to pique my curiosity. She surprised me with her verbal sparring. I got the sense for a while that we were both dancing around some kind of deeper subject, trying to one-up each other in a delightful game of one-upmanship. I didn’t feel like either of us had an edge though, and I rather enjoyed myself. If she’s well, I’ll probably see if she’s down for more sometime. With less pretense. Of course, there’s always the chance I pulled the subject out of my arse, but there were too many coincidences lining up for me to ignore. Her son on the other hand, seems a little squeamish. Bookish. Reminds me of myself when I was younger before I was married. We’ve agreed to tea this week but I have a nagging suspicion that it’s going to fall through.
R’zhumii hasn’t been much better either. Another “innocent meeting” with a motive behind it. She seems to think that I’m still holding a torch for Eufrasi. While I’d admit in the privacy of these pages that I’m dying for a good shag, I don’t think that trying to rekindle any sort of romance with him is a good idea. Apparently he’s got some baggage, and if he comes with R’zhumii in tow then I would rather stay celibate. Bitch had the audacity to give me gil, but hidden inside a larger bag. I didn’t realize what had happened until she’d gone.
I do miss the comfort of a man in my bed. Turk has disappeared off again, without a word to anyone, and Fenix seems to be completely disinterested. I’m terrible at dropping hints, but even the ones that lack subtlety he seems to miss. I gave him a bloody kiss the other day and he barely batted an eyelash. I need to meet someone, I think. Something casual, I wouldn’t even turn down. But release is important and the last time I had that was with a woman. And who knows where Blueboats is now.
*there is a break in the writing. A small gap, and it continues. It is obviously written at a later time*
Apparently I wasn’t living in the Shroud this whole time after all. I took the other way around to Wineport this time, since I was called away the other day and had to make the trip back. I stumbled into a place that the map called ‘Raincatcher Gulley’. It is the forest. THE forest. That’s where I was the entire time after Cartenau. I had no idea. Apparently I’ve been assuming this whole time that I was still in the Shroud because no forest like this was around then, but here it is. I was in it. I recognize the plant life, and the climes were right, and some of the rock features were right. It’s not a coincidence, and I should have realized much sooner that no place in the Shroud would have that kind of humidity and support that kind of plant life. Wineport is so close, I think I’ll go back some sun. Try and find my old camp. Dig up what I buried.
I think Aysun is coming out for a visit. I’m going to go down to the front desk and buy a bottle of wine. Nasty stuff, but there’s hell-all else to drink around here.
Selene Artemis 